Scarred for Life
by Soccerdog12
Summary: Three girls, just eating lunch turns into a Twilight character fiasco! Will they come out even less mentally stable than when they went in?


Three, unsuspecting teenage girls were just sitting down to lunch when…

Three, unsuspecting teenage girls were just sitting down to lunch when…

_Don't ya wish your girlfriend was HOT like me…_

"Um… Emmett is dancing… on the stage," said Kristin. Stephanie and Jill turn to look.

"What?" says Jill.

As they turn, they see Emmett dancing, with skin-tight leather pants and a pink feather boa. He is also doing the Rockett kick.

"He… is not… really? Where's Rosalie?" inquires Stephanie.

"She's probably laughing her butt off from back stage," replies Kristin.

Suddenly, the song switches.

_Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco…_

"Oh, no." Jill covers her ears and puts her head on the table. Then she continues to slam it, over and over, again.

Stephanie, meanwhile, is going into hysterics. Kristin reaches across the table and slaps her.

"Breathe, Stephanie, breathe." Stephanie stops, looks towards stage right, and gets a dazed look on her face.

"Stephanie," say Jill, " are you _drooling?" _

And in walks Stephanie's biggest crush in the Twilight world. The one, the only, JACOB BLACK!

Only, he's wearing a purple pimp suite, complete with weird purple floppy hat and feathers.

_I like big butts and I can not lie…_

Stephanie immediately sobers up. "Oh, no. He is _sooo _not going to do what I think he is, is he?"

Unfortunately, Jake starts to do _exactly _what Stephanie was thinking.

Kristin starts to chant, "He's such an idiot, nananana-naaaa."

So, what was Stephanie thinking? Well, if you thought that she was thinking that Jake was thinking about going up on stage to make Emmett stop, then you were wrong.

If you were thinking that Stephanie was thinking that Jake was thinking about pink butterflies, then you would also be wrong. Well, for the most part anyway.

However, if you were thinking that Stephanie was thinking that Jake was thinking about going up on stage, linking arms with Emmett and singing _Baby Got Back _with him and doing some never-before-seen dance moves, then you would be correct.

_BOOM! CRASH! BANG!!_

Lightning suddenly crashes, even though it is not Forks and it is a perfectly sunny day outside. There is also fog starting to roll across stage.

Jill finally stops banging her head on the table and looks up. Unfortunately, someone overdid the fog machine and she couldn't see a thing anyway.

"Hello good humans, uh, I mean students! And welcome to my stirring performance of …" Music started to trickle out of the speakers.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

A spotlight comes on and there is Aro, standing in the middle of the stage, with a yellow tutu and leotard, with a pink bow wrapped around his long black hair.

"The bow really brings out his eyes," says Riley, the human, not the vampire, that no one likes or remembers. Mr. Mann walks over to go beat him up for being such a sissy. Riley runs away screaming like a girl.

Kristin starts laughing really creepily because she has done that ever since reading Twilight. "He's insulted his manly pride!"

"Manly bride?" asks Jill.

Stephanie starts to slam _her _head on the table.

That announcer that does all those movies comes over the speakers.

"And now, for the grand finale!"

"Where did we get the money to afford him? If we can do that, we should at least have air conditioning in the gym," say Stephanie indignantly.

"Stephanie," says Kristin, "just shut up and enjoy the hallucinations."

"Yeah, Steph," says Jill.

Emmett walks out from stage right, while Jake walks out from stage left. However, they are now wearing different costumes. And, it seems, Aro has also found time for a costume change. Aro is dressed as a stereotypical vampire complete with cape and fangs. Jake has gone for the rough and hairy look. He has ripped clothes and his head in almost entirely covered in hair.

Emmett, well, Emmett is dressed as a giant pink Easter Bunny…

_He did the mash  
He did the monster mash  
The monster mash  
It was a graveyard smash  
He did the mash  
It caught on in a flash  
He did the mash  
He did the monster mash_

They all started to do the Frankenstein walk off stage. Everyone started clapping. Except for Mr. West. He leans over to Mrs. Poe.

"I don't get it. It's not even October or anything. What's the deal?" Mrs. Poe just shakes her head and ignores him.

v-v

**So this is written by both edwardcullenissosexy and by Soccerdog12. We both kinda had this idea at lunch last year. It's on edwardcullenissosexy's profile. Enjoy!**

_**Oh, and Mr. Mann is in Dorks by edwardcullenissosexy, along with Stephanie, Jill, and Kristin. Go read it! And also read Movie Madness by Soccerdog12!**_

**Do not be fooled by the advertising. Only read them if you feel like it. **

_**Shut up Soccerdog! I'm trying out my mind control powers and you're ruining it!**_

**Your only power is to be crazy! Shut up. You should just give up the mind control thing. I apologize to anyone who might have to go to counseling or anything after this. And edwardcullenissosexy, you just need to shut it about my ability to spell. AND you NEED to get a shorter penname so I don't get carpal tunnel trying to write freakin' author's notes! **


End file.
